Kids Cotton Robe

A Pastor dies of old age and is lifted by the clouds unto the pathway that leads to Heaven. He sighs with relief as the angels direct him to the pathway with the sign "Heaven" above it. As he is waiting in line to check-in with St.Peter, he has a brief discussion with a taxi driver wearing a loud shirt and had many piercings and tattoos. The Pastor questioned to himself why the man made it into heaven, before he realized it was the Taxi Drivers turn to check-in. The Taxi Driver checked in and was handed a silk robe and a golden staff; At the check-in the pastor was handed a cotton robe and a wooden staff, once he exited, angry with his gifts of lower value, he walked up to God and questioned this decision. "Ah, well you see," God said, "Even though you preached for 80 years, people slept when you preached, as for that taxi driver...when he was driving....people PRAYED."

Two huge baseball fans since they were kids,Sam and Bill, always wondered if there was baseball in heaven. Sam played second base, and Bill played Pitcher. The men grew older, and eventually Sam died. One day, he appeared in front of Bill as in angel in a baseball uniform, and Bill said, "So, I guess heaven has baseball," and Sam said,"Yes! Second base is pretty fun when you get to try and get Babe Ruth out!" Bill said, "Wow, that great news..." and Sam replied, "Well, yes, but you see, the reason I came here is....you're scheduled to pitch today..."

Blonde Jokes-

A blonde's year in review:

January-Got pulled over today and was asked to show my license. Pff! One day the take away my license and the next the want me to show it!

February-I was working at a blood donation booth today and boy was my patient mad! I said I was going to draw blood, and once I drew on him with a red marker, he started storming off! What a weirdo!

March-Got kicked out of Red Robin today for being polite! I saw a woman with a nametag that read Sheryl, so I said to her, "Cute. What did you name the other one?"And I used my cutie voice and smiled. Next thing I know she starts yelling to me about respect and maturity and has the manager throw me out!


April-Took a shower today, and then I brought some flowers to my friend May

May-This annoying little bird always chirps at night when I am trying to SLEEP, so today I drove out into the moutains and threw it off a cliff--THAT should take care of that stupid bird!

June-I finally got my license back today and renewed it-but guess what: the Jerks gave me an F in sex!

July-I stuffed my bra today for my big date, but he kept looking at me funny the whole time *sigh* nobody ever told ME that you were supposed to take the tissues OUT of the box...

August-Today I was so scared! I saw blood on the back of my pants and though someone shot me! Thankfully, Mom just said it was something called my "period"

September-It was so hard when dad made me replace a lightbulb in my room! Everytime I used the hammer-the dang lightbulb would break!

November-I broke my arm raking leaves today. Mom says I should be lucky I survived a fall from a tree that high.

December-What a year...although...I wonder if my Cousin got her Christmas fax I sent her...I did everything right, I even put the stamp on right!


Tell me which ones you like best~mylilbeebee

even though im blonde the blonde one was waaaay the best
i was laughing all the way through it

2009-03-23 19:32:56 by mylilbeebee

off me. I climbed out and put my hair in a towel and dried my body. I put the cotton robe on that was set out and walked downstairs. Josie ran up ...