Front Cotton Robe

Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks
the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?". The man responds "My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city
Taxi driver for 14 years" "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord."
St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?" He responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have
devoted the last 62 years to the Lord". "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter." "Wait a minute,"
says O'Flannagan, "You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden scepter, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?". "Well," St.
Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale, you see while you preached, everyone slept, when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!"

Great joke from you thanks.

2007-11-22 05:55:20 by chrisisback

This is where I sew the bodice front, made of shimmering mesh, to the back, made of chiffon, and capture the collar in-between the two. This was ...

A rabbi dies and is waiting in line to enter heaven. In front of him is a man dressed in a loud shirt, leather jacket, jeans and sunglasses. Gabriel addresses the man, "I need to know who you are so I can determine whether or not to admit you to Heaven."

The man replies, "I'm Moshe Levy, the taxi driver."

"Gabriel consults his list, smiles and says, "OK. Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter Heaven."

Now it's the rabbi's turn. He stands upright and says, "I am Benjamin Himmelfarb and I was the rabbi of Temple Beth Am for forty years."

Gabriel looks at his list and says, "OK rabbi. Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter Heaven."

"Hold on a minute," says the rabbi, "that man before me was a taxi driver – why did he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Up here, we only work by results," says Gabriel. "While you preached, people slept – but while he drove, people prayed."

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

All I can picture is Christopher Lloyd as Jim Ignatowski in Taxi. It's hilarious. I might change a bit of the wording... that bit about a 'loud' t-shirt interrupts the flow of the story so that one can interpret the meaning. The opening is the only really weak part. Just refer to the person in front of him as not being dressed as nicely.

2008-09-16 08:28:59 by Steve C

Price: $76.00 $76.00

A Pastor dies of old age and is lifted by the clouds unto the pathway that leads to Heaven. He sighs with relief as the angels direct him to the pathway with the sign "Heaven" above it. As he is waiting in line to check-in with St.Peter, he has a brief discussion with a taxi driver wearing a loud shirt and had many piercings and tattoos. The Pastor questioned to himself why the man made it into heaven, before he realized it was the Taxi Drivers turn to check-in. The Taxi Driver checked in and was handed a silk robe and a golden staff; At the check-in the pastor was handed a cotton robe and a wooden staff, once he exited, angry with his gifts of lower value, he walked up to God and questioned this decision. "Ah, well you see," God said, "Even though you preached for 80 years, people slept when you preached, as for that taxi driver...when he was driving....people PRAYED."

Two huge baseball fans since they were kids,Sam and Bill, always wondered if there was baseball in heaven. Sam played second base, and Bill played Pitcher. The men grew older, and eventually Sam died. One day, he appeared in front of Bill as in angel in a baseball uniform, and Bill said, "So, I guess heaven has baseball," and Sam said,"Yes! Second base is pretty fun when you get to try and get Babe Ruth out!" Bill said, "Wow, that great news..." and Sam replied, "Well, yes, but you see, the reason I came here is....you're scheduled to pitch today..."

Blonde Jokes-

A blonde's year in review:

January-Got pulled over today and was asked to show my license. Pff! One day the take away my license and the next the want me to show it!

February-I was working at a blood donation booth today and boy was my patient mad! I said I was going to draw blood, and once I drew on him with a red marker, he started storming off! What a weirdo!

March-Got kicked out of Red Robin today for being polite! I saw a woman with a nametag that read Sheryl, so I said to her, "Cute. What did you name the other one?"And I used my cutie voice and smiled. Next thing I know she starts yelling to me about respect and maturity and has the manager throw me out!


April-Took a shower today, and then I brought some flowers to my friend May

May-This annoying little bird always chirps at night when I am trying to SLEEP, so today I drove out into the moutains and threw it off a cliff--THAT should take care of that stupid bird!

June-I finally got my license back today and renewed it-but guess what: the Jerks gave me an F in sex!

July-I stuffed my bra today for my big date, but he kept looking at me funny the whole time *sigh* nobody ever told ME that you were supposed to take the tissues OUT of the box...

August-Today I was so scared! I saw blood on the back of my pants and though someone shot me! Thankfully, Mom just said it was something called my "period"

September-It was so hard when dad made me replace a lightbulb in my room! Everytime I used the hammer-the dang lightbulb would break!

November-I broke my arm raking leaves today. Mom says I should be lucky I survived a fall from a tree that high.

December-What a year...although...I wonder if my Cousin got her Christmas fax I sent her...I did everything right, I even put the stamp on right!


Tell me which ones you like best~mylilbeebee

even though im blonde the blonde one was waaaay the best
i was laughing all the way through it

2009-03-23 19:32:56 by mylilbeebee

Price: $12.99 $12.99

Practical and machine washable
Zipper front for easy use
100% cotton terry/velour - super thick, soft and absorbent

Hi I'm in NY and long island is getting the bulk of the storm right now in less than an hour we've probably had maybe 3-4 inches of snow so far we have about 7 inches by where I live and its still snowing bad.

Anyway, I take care of several feral cats, of which I have four the mom cat and three 3-4mokittens we set up a container with a huge fleece robe and probabbly 4-6 smaller blankets of all types, cotton, fleece, knit, etc...anywho i'm going to pull an all nighter to shovel snow on the hour bc where we have them on the patio is pretty safe but i am so scared they are gonna freeze to death.

it totally looks like the second shelter pictured here http://www.urbancatleague.org/Shelters.h tml we used a black garbaage bag to cover the outter shell and we have a huge ply wood board on top so snow won't get in the front hole.

I'm sorry I am freaking out because these cats are like my children (I have six of my own) and if I could I would take them in but they are still a bit skiddish.

They are very healthy and fat! the kittens look like 5 mo olds.

any way im just looking for anyone who has experience in sheltering ferals and can help me out.

Right now we have old carpet covering the sides so snow won't get in since its so windy.

Help!

thanks

-crazyass catlady.
I will be going out tomorrow to purchase some straw to put inside the shelter just found out thats a lot better
Thank you soo much...I'm a huge cat lover and I worry about them so much. (I'm a big worrier) But thanks again.

The cats will not freeze to death; I guarantee that much. As long as they have shelter from the wind they will just curl up together and ride out the storm.
I live a '''bit further north''' than you (Central Canada) and the temperature here last week was MINUS 15F degrees; and it does get a lot colder (-35/45F degrees) than that on occasion. We have a feral cat colony here that can trace its origins back a hundred years and we have never lost one of them to the cold. They Winter in an abandoned shed that the locals stock with loose hay for the cats to burrow into.
I do not recommend blankets for insulation. Condensation from the cats will freeze to the blankets and negate any insulation effect the blankets might have provided. Loose straw is the best solution and should be changed out at least once a month.

2009-12-19 21:29:11 by AnswersForYou